Jeff asks: "Me and my girlfriend have been dating for nearly four months now. Throughout the whole four months, I've noticed that when we are together she will often oogle other guys. She rarely stares long because if she does she knows I will see her looking. I've confronted her about it once before but it still happens. There is one guy in particular that she seems fond of and it bugs me. What should I do? What does this mean? Is she losing interest? Am I wrong for being upset about this?"

My opinion? You're taking things a bit too seriously. Do you not oogle women at all when you're out and about? Sure, she could be a bit more respectful if she's oogling guys in front of you non-stop, especially if you've mentioned it to her before. But in the grand scheme of life, she's being appreciative of others and not much more.

Now, if she's leering and can't keep her eyes off every hot guy that walks by or if she ignores you completely for five or more minutes at a time to oogle someone - then there's a problem. But you even say she doesn't "do it for long" because you believe she's trying to be respectful to you. To me, that says a lot, and in a positive way. Her natural tendency (from what you've shared) is to oogle other guys, but she's trying to reign it in for you.

Does this spell disaster for your relationship? It could if it matters so much to you that the behavior has to stop cold turkey for you to feel appreciated by your girlfriend - and this is perfectly acceptable if that's a requirement for you, just be aware it may not be something your girlfriend can give you. Some people are natural flirts and others are naturally appreciative. If the oogling is coming in between the two of you to the point of you considering ending things, or if it makes you wonder if she's looking elsewhere, try turning the tables for a day. Don't say anything, but when the two of you are out and about one day, oogle as many girls as she does boys in the exact same way. If she notices and says something, shrug your shoulders and give her the same response she gave you when you confronted her on the topic. She'll likely get the hint and work harder to change her own behavior. And if she doesn't? Then you know there is a major incompatibility between the two of you (to oogle is acceptable for her but not for you), and it may be time to reconsider your four month long relationship.

What do you think readers? Do you agree or disagree? Have you been in this situation? What did you do?

A gent who asked me to refer to him as "stricken" has written in asking for some advice about how he can turn a platonic relationship with his best friend's friends with benefits into a dating relationship for himself. Or in other words, he's looking to ask out the woman who his best friend has been intimate with for the past year.

Stricken says: "My best friend for many years has a friend with benefits he has been seeing for a little under a year now. He met her through a mutual friend and they drunkenly hooked up one night and continued the trend to this day. From the day I met this girl I have been crazy about her. Seeing her has been few and far between but when I do it makes my week. She's gorgeous, funny, amazing personality, basically the whole package. Today me, this girl, my friend and another mutual friend spent the day together and me and this girl and I really hit it off. She completely ignored my friend and spend the entire day flirting and joking with me. When we split off she called me and we spent about 3 hours talking on the phone. I'm completely convinced she feels the same way about me that I feel about her. Now my best friend was recently talking to me about seeing if he could actually date this girl or not and my advice on it. I am a loyal friend and don't want to do anything that would jeopardize our friendship but I als can't get this girl out of my head. Do I just forget about her because there is no way of making this transition? The only thing I can think of that would make this work is if I can get him to date someone else soon and then I could move in on this girl. Any other ideas?

So readers, what advice do you have for Stricken?

A reader has a touchy question about making love with his girlfriend of seven months, and has asked me to post his question here in the hopes that one of you can shed some light on his challenging situation.

In a nutshell, he's frustrated because he feels his girlfriend is "very emotionless and unresponsive" when they are in bed together. He says: "She has never even kissed or touched me sexually in the whole time we have been together and lies there with her arms defensively clamped across her chest looking awkward and uninterested. She tells me she loves me, and I believe she does, but as hard as I have tried to improve our relationship and resolve this problem she does not seem to be willing to help herself to get over whatever it is holding her back. She has told me that there is no particular reason other than not knowing how to express herself and she feels she has made progress in the last 7 months. I try to encourage and support this but inside I am upset that this has only progressed as far as her initiating a cuddle in bed. This is not satisfying my needs that have been neglected since we have been together. I have always had a very high sex drive and thrive on passion but her lack of enthusiasm is affecting my drive, confidence and sexual attractiveness towards her. I have tried to look beyond sex and sacrifice it for the sake of us having a lot in common but this fundamental part of any relationship is causing me to start to distance myself and has led to arguments between us, doubts in my mind and suspicions in hers.

As much as I love her I have a feeling that she will never be able to offer me what I need if she doesn't start making changes and the neglect is starting to make me wonder if I should split from her before I begin to seek my needs elsewhere. I fear that separating from her may emotionally scar her further however."

My take is that Shaun's girlfriend needs to speak with a counselor about what is holding her back. Perhaps she wasn't ready to have sex (Shaun doesn't state how old the two of them are), maybe she has intimacy issues, or perhaps she's even been sexually abused. But no matter what the reason, it is impairing their relationship with one another and needs to be addressed ASAP. I'd advise Shaun to have a heart to heart with his girlfriend in a non-threatening place that isn't sexually charged (i.e. not the bedroom) about what's going on, and suggest maybe she seek some professional assistance. If he's really wanting to make things work, he might even suggest they go together.

But readers, what do you think? What advice do you have for Shaun?

Related: How To Talk To Your Partner About Sexual Concerns, What To Do About Silent Sex With Your Partner, When Your Partner Is A Survivor of Sexual Abuse.

Unusual findings from a Brazillian research study last year confirmed what many of us already know: alcohol affects how attractive we view members of the opposite sex, and more alcohol we injest, the more attractive we find other people. But this phenomena seems to effect men more, and longer.

The researchers used facial symmetry to determine how attractive the men found their female partners, and easily determined that more alcohol equaled less ability to determine symmetry. This would explain why men will pick up women they normally wouldn't find attractive when drinking with friends in a bar.

But another study undertaken also in 2008 found that the beer goggle effect wore off with female drinkers by the morning after, whereas men were still seeing their partners from the night before - and any person of the opposite sex - in a more favorable light.

_{Source: Svoboda, Elizabeth. 2009. "HER BODY ON BOOZE." Men's Health (10544836) 24, no. 4: 104-106. Consumer Health Complete - EBSCOhost, EBSCOhost (accessed June 25, 2009).}